I am enough. I have a purpose. 

2 Corinthians 12:10

“That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

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Many times I’m sure many of us feels unqualified for certain things or we’re not good enough. Those are the moments that  discourages you to give your best in the things you do, not just serving at church but daily things like school work or even certain skills you’d like to learn. 
We always compare ourselves to the people around us. It’s hard to not compare because that’s one of human’s weakness. But God says that you are made perfect in His image (Colossians 2:10), you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)
James 1:2-4

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. “

So do not fear when you face trials or challenges, take it as a learning experience for you to grow in your character. Don’t give up just because things gets too difficult, there is always a way out of the trials you face and there’s a purpose for it too. You have been prepared for it and the trials you face is used to reveal what God has prepared you for. 
You will always be more than enough, you will always have a purpose in life because God has a purpose for you. So take heart and keep on keeping on. 
[This post was inspired by Pastor Steven Furtick’s book devotion “(Un)qualified”.]

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Being brave

Growing up, my dad would always encourage me to be brave and do things on my own, from simple things like ordering my own food from a waiter or calling a cinema for inquiry and to be brave in making my own decisions. My parents always wanted my sister and I to learn to be independent and that also to be brave.

I always think of myself to be a brave person. Through the years I’ve learnt to do things on my own and not rely on people, even more so after my dad passed away. I had to get things done for myself and for my family. An example would be that I had to go to the government offices to get some paperwork done when we finally got a house from the national housing program. At that time, my mom had work which is why she couldn’t go get it done, but also she wasn’t too sure where to go, I stepped up and told her I’ll get it done and I did. It took courage to go to the government office to ask for directions and to make sure I got the right documents. Tbh at that time I didn’t see it as something difficult, I just went and did it, until a friend of mine pointed out that she wouldn’t be able to do what I did on her own, and that was when I sat back and think, this is not something people my age then would be doing, it’s be something their parents would handle on their own.

When I had to go to the Philippines for a student exchange program for a semester, I was there on my own with no other students from my home uni. I learn to adapt to the new environment, and was responsible for my own expenses and made sure I fed myself (wasn’t a problem at all) and again, a lot of people were impressed that I wasn’t scared and was even brave to travel out on my own to go to the mall nearby using a jeepney. But really, it wasn’t difficult and it wasn’t that scary, I just had to be wise and not go to places that are dodgy or dark. Most places I went to was crowded or like public places where people hung out. Anyway, I survived and I had a good time there.

This year, I feel like it’s a year where God is really trying to bring my courage up another level. As I’m trying to figure out and plan on where to take my masters, I think one after another obstacles it has been testing my courage. I think being at home in the comfort for so long, I might have forgotten how to be a little braver or I’m too comfortable to move. As I plan on where to go next, I think I have a lot more to consider and one of the main thing for me to think about is the finance. This time, I won’t have the financial support of the government to bring me overseas to study and I won’t have any allowance. I’ll have to consider if my family account has enough to cover my tuition fees and also consider how am I gonna get my living expenses while I’m overseas.

I’m looking as going to a nearby city to further my studies, and the cost of living in a city is higher than home. I’ll need to find a job while I’m studying and learn to balance everything out. It is scary, even tho I put a front of being brave and willing to take up a challenge, in the end I’m still a practical person and coming from a not so well off family background I worry about the finances. I’m scared on how I’m going to cope if I move, am I gonna be able to manage my time well? I know I’m going to miss home a lot, and I will be out of my comfort zone for sure. SGnIDoj.gif

Been thinking way too much because I have to and I’m so tired, but after thinking for the past few months, I know I need to make this move, I need to move forward and be brave to make this change, for myself, for my future, for my mom.

jump

It feels like cliff diving, like I’m at the edge of the cliff, wanting to jump but a little bit too scared to take that step off that cliff for that adrenaline, I think I’ll have to close my eyes for that first second, hold my breath and jump. I know when I step off that cliff, I’ll still be scared until I land and dive into the water and that rush of adrenaline will be my source of energy to push me further. It’ll be good. I pray hope that it’ll be good. Cause I know God’s got me through it all.

Praying that things will fall into place smoothly and 5 years from now I’ll look back and be glad that I made the right decision.

I think most of us just need to take a deep breath and make that first step out of our comfort zone to grow a little more.

Kelly Clarkson once sang this beautiful chorus from her song ‘Breakaway’

I’ll spread my wings and I’ll learn how to fly
I’ll do what it takes ’til I touch the sky
And I’ll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won’t forget all the ones that I love
I’ll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

c0fb21c5a98703ad4a211863b32ee505Sometimes you just gotta take a risk and take a chance to make that change. 

I’m excited to see what’s next and excited to see if I’m brave enough to take that next step.

Current music obsession (May 2017)

My obsession comes and go. Sometimes amazing things comes up and I just becomes obsessed with it for months.

Gavin James – Nervous

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So recently on the radio I heard a song called “The Oooh Song” by Gavin James, the song is also called ‘Nervous’. The first thing came into mind was “Does the song only goes ‘ooh’?” and I thought it’d be one of those song like “selfie”, I can’t even understand that song, but anyway, so the song was played and I was blown away by how good it is. They played the remixed version on the radio so I looked it up on YouTube.

His voice is amazing and the song is so good

and there’s the original version, with just his voice ❤

Kinda reminds me of when I first heard of James Arthur, same vibe, so good.

Anyway, the song is from his album ‘Bitter Pill’, of course I went on to listen to the other songs, and they’re good too.

Chord Overstreet – Hold On

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Chord Overstreet who is famously know from his role in Glee, he recently released a few singles and I manage to listen to one of his latest song, it’s called “Hold on”. This song hit me hard, the story, the words of the song really got to me, especially after binge watching 13 Reasons Why recently,  the stories relate. But I think  The Vampire Diaries used this song for an episode, from what I’m seeing at the comment section of the video.

The first verse of the song below:

Loving and fighting
Accusing, denying
I can’t imagine a world with you gone
The joy and the chaos, the demons we’re made of
I’d be so lost if you left me alone
You locked yourself in the bathroom
Lying on the floor when I break through
I pull you in to feel your heartbeat
Can you hear me screaming “please don’t leave me”

Max Schneider – Lights Down Low

Max Schneider got my attention when he was on Nickelodeon’s How to Rock, cuz he’s got a good looking face and he’s a cutie. Then he really got my attention when he released a cover of JT’s Suit and Tie, cuz look at him in the video

He released a song called “Lights down low” last year and he wrote it for his wife as a proposal song, and it’s beautiful.

Logan Henderson – Sleepwalker

My favourite BTR member, Logan Henderson, the mysterious cutie. He release a new single last year, it’s called “Sleepwalker”, I love the song and I can’t wait for the full album, if he ever plans on coming up with one.

Start of something new? ish?

This is me deciding to start something new.

I’ve finally decided to create a new blog. I don’t know  if I’ll regret this later on, but for now this will be here. I want to post up about the beautiful things in life as well as the challenges, and how I discover the beauty in those challenges.

I’m still learning and growing est 1992, even though I’m already in my mid 20’s (that’s a scary revelation) I’m still trying to figure out who I am and what I want to do in life. I love to create things, which means I love writing, I love crafting things and planning things. I will kinda show all these in this blog.

It all sounds kinda cliche but sometimes cliche is good and it’s life, life is cliche. I want to see how getting back into writing will help me figure things out more by getting my thoughts out instead of keeping them in. (Once again, let’s see if this is a good idea.)

So this is my journey.